I said yesterday that I’ve started on a program called Recovery Way.
Well, I’m stuck on Day 1 because one of the To-Do items is to call an Accountability Partner. I’ve been given a list of, oh, half a dozen people to choose from. But I can’t. I just can’t bring myself to do it. I have all kinds of excuses, but the bottom line is, I’ve got to make this call!
How can something so easy be so difficult?
So I’ve started on a Program called Recovery Way.
I don’t know what I’m doing, but I think that’s the point.
In my younger days, I was (looking back) a hothead. My anger was always simmering just below the surface and didn’t take much to bring it out.
Well, that faded as I got into my mid-50s and all was good. Things that used to really p*ss me off now rolled off my back.
Then my daughter died.
I don’t know why, but that anger came raging back. Just like before, the slightest thing p*she’s me off. And I don’t mean, that bugs me. I mean the old my full of fury cussing and carrying on (I will say, I haven’t ever been violent. I’m too big a wuss for that).
I don’t get it. I’m not mad at my daughter. It was just an accident. I AM questioning why God permitted it, when soooooo many people were praying for her recovery.
So, I find myself angry and not knowing what to do about it and, well, my church has this Recovery Way program, so I thought I’d try it.
I’m on day 2. We’ll see.
What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?
None. Sorry, I don’t do tattoos. It just wasn’t a thing when I was growing up.
I’m doing my morning bible study when I came across this passage:
(Yeshua speaking) “There is nothing secret that shall not be made manifest-neither is there anything hid that shall not be known openly. Take heed and listen carefully. Whoever obeys, to him shall more be given. Whoever does not obey, even what he seems to have will be taken away.”
No secrets. Nothing hidden. All will be exposed. Sobering words.
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?
More than I can count. But if I had to pick one, I would choose “Testament” on the Angel network app. It is the story of Jesus’ disciples 20 years after his ascension told as if were modern times. In this context, 4 of Jesus’ parables are “reimagined” and told in modern context. Very good job. I highly recommend this movie.
Since my daughter’s death back in December, I’ve been having emotions that, frankly, surprise me.
In my younger days I was a hot tempered man, easy to fly into a rage. However, in the last several years, that rage has cooled and I nave become much more agreeable and easier to get along with.
However, since my daughter’s death, my old trigger temper has returned. It doesn’t take much to set me off. I hope this passes, because I really enjoyed the old, new Scott.
My wife and I are going to something called Celebrate Recovery tonight. Even though it is designed for people with substance abuse problems, they say that anyone is welcome. I am hopeful that simply being with people who have gone through this will be helpful in itself.
Have you dealt with the death of a loved one? How did you manage? How long did the grief process take? When did you realize that you were passed it?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Scott's Ramblings 