Since my daughter’s death back in December, I’ve been having emotions that, frankly, surprise me.

In my younger days I was a hot tempered man, easy to fly into a rage. However, in the last several years, that rage has cooled and I nave become much more agreeable and easier to get along with.

However, since my daughter’s death, my old trigger temper has returned. It doesn’t take much to set me off. I hope this passes, because I really enjoyed the old, new Scott.

My wife and I are going to something called Celebrate Recovery tonight. Even though it is designed for people with substance abuse problems, they say that anyone is welcome. I am hopeful that simply being with people who have gone through this will be helpful in itself.

Have you dealt with the death of a loved one? How did you manage? How long did the grief process take? When did you realize that you were passed it?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

So it’s been just over 6 weeks since my daughter died and I have to admit that I had no idea her passing would affect me so much.

While I have had a few episodes of tears, the thing that surprises me the most is my total loss of interest in anything and everything.

I was involved in my community as an HOA board member-don’t care. I was politically involved in a political, but nonpartisan organization-not any more. I attend a large church in my community with lots of ministries-I’m not interested in any of them.

How long does this last?

I’ve been melancholy for a couple of weeks now. If you’ve never experienced it, it’s not fun.

I’ve thought about counseling, but how do I pick one? A Google search?

I will readily admit that I am not very good at blogging/journaling. I try, but it seems I look up one day and several weeks if not months have gone by and I haven’t written a thing!

I have a little bit of an excuse this time. My adult daughter (42) had a bad home accident and, after 2 months in the hospital, died on December 23rd.

Needless to say, my wife and I have been “running around like chickens with our heads cut off” to coin a southern phrase.

We held my daughter’s memorial service this past Saturday and Sunday the funeral home delivered her ashes back to us. I had been holding up pretty well until then, but the damn burst yesterday.

So this morning we wake up and wonder, “Now what?” We still have bills to pay, accounts to close, agencies to notify, but what do WE do? How do WE move on?

Adding to our stress live (I didn’t realize I needed to vent some more!) my daughter’s death has broken up our home. My daughter has 4 children (3 from her ex and 1 from a former boyfriend). She and they all lived with my wife and me.

Since my daughter’s accident, the father (the ex-boyfriend ) of her youngest (a son who was my heartbeat because he was born just before I retired and he and I have been inseparable since) has exerted his right to have his son live with him. Which I understand, but it still hurts.

Additionally, we do not know what the father (the ex-husband) of the other 3 is going to do.

So we have potentially gone from a family of 7 to empty nesters in just three weeks. I don’t really think it will go that far because the two oldest are nearly legal adults and have said they want to stay with us. But the not knowing weighs on us.

You may be wondering why our daughter and her children live with us in the first place. Well, the father of the 3 oldest was married to my daughter when he was sent to a school for the military where he met what my father used to call a “sweet young thing” and decided he needed to be with her rather than his wife and 3 children. So 13 years ago, after 10 years of marriage, he literally dropped them at our door and left. A couple of years later he married sweet young thing.

Meanwhile my daughter went to pieces. I won’t go into all the details, but she spent several years in depression and seemed to be on the mend when her accident occurred.

Anyway, that’s how she and her kids wound up with us. We had jelled as a single family unit and were all happily living together until her accident.

So, what now? I simply do not know.

I previously asked you to join with me in Saving America, but how?

I’ve recently joined a grassroots organization who is attempting to do just that-the Convention of States.

The Convention of States started 10 years ago as a nationwide, grassroots, Article V of the Constitution movement. Our immediate goal is to gain enough grassroots support in every state to persuade their state legislatures to pass a bill calling on Congress to set a date and place for an Article V convention. To date we have 19 of the required 34 state applications (map of states).

Im not going to go into all of the details now, but at the convention, we can exercise our right to take back our country and the Federal Government cannot stop us! Why? Because Article V is an emergency mechanism to stop a runaway government.

If you want to help, please go to www.conventionofstates.com and sign our petition.

We, at the Convention of States, believe that this is the last, best chance to reclaim and restore our republic to its constitutional boundaries.

Please help us!

First, I need to say that I didn’t realize that over two months have passed since I last wrote! Where did the time go? My sincere apologies to anyone who follows my ramblings and has been wondering where I went. No excuses, I just got too busy..

In Hosea 9:4 it reads:

“The days of punishment have come, the days of retribution are here, and Israel [read: America] knows it. Yet they cry, ‘The prophet is a fool, the man of the` spirit has gone crazy!'”

Elsewhere it says that Israel went about picking its leaders without consulting God.

As I read this, I couldn’t help but to realize the parallel to America.

America too, was founded as a nation originally dedicated to following and obeying God. Most today don’t believe this or don’t want to believe this, but that does not change the fact that it was. It is one of the things (the main thing) that sets the US apart from other nations.

Our fall (read: rebellion) began in earnest in the 1960s and we have quite literally been on the “highway to hell” since then.

As the Hosea passage above states, our punishment has (and continues to) come and those of us who try to warn about it are ignored, mocked, or ridiculed.

Many Christians believe we are living in the last days that Jesus spoke of in Matt 24. Whether we are or not, we are definitely in a period of God’s judgment.

Most of the “bad” thing that have happened here in the US are warnings – calls to return to God. Our problem is that we don’t. Heck, most of us don’t even consider the possibility.

For example, On 9/11 when the attacks occurred, did you ever consider that they were allowed by God to get us, as a nation, to return to Him? I didn’t. It never even crossed my mind. It should have.

So today would be a good day to do that. Turn from our wicked ways and seek him.

If we, individually, return to the God of our fathers, then God will “return” to the nation. But it takes each of us making an individual decision to “turn from our wicked ways” and turn to God and his Torah (his word).

So join with me in returning to the ways of the God of our Founders.

For many, James is the most troubling book in the New Testament. It confounds them because they think James says that works is an integral part of salvation. And it does. But not like they think. James argues that works are a product of saving faith, not the cause of it.

We know (at least I do) many who think that if they are “good enough” or “religious enough”, God will allow them into heaven. How many times have you heard, “I think God will balance my good works against my bad works, and if I did enough good works, God will let me into heaven”? But it doesn’t work that way. The Scriptures are clear, salvation is by faith alone in Jesus’ shed blood and substitutionary sacrifice on the cross. Ephesians 2:8,9 clearly tell us that we have been saved by grace alone (For by grace you have been saved through faith. And it is not from yourselves – it is the gift of God. It is not based on deeds, so that no one may boast. TLV).

So what is James talking about in James 2:14-18? What does he mean, “Can faith alone save him”?

In the context of James’ discussion, he is talking about the sufficiency of faith alone to show others the work of Christ in us. What does he say? “What good does it do..?” What good indeed. Jesus instructs us to emulate him. How are we to do this? By faith. What does this faith manifest? If it doesn’t manifest anything, James says it’s worthless. Faith moves. Faith acts. Faith isn’t just a mental exercise.

Jesus tells us, “This is my commandment, that you love one another just as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you”.

Do you see the connection? James is asking how can we call ourselves followers of Jesus if we neglect the basic necessities of our own brothers (in modern thinking that would be members of our own church)? So, what is our answer?

Do we pass by those who are in a lower economic station than us? (Guilty)

Do we cringe when we see “that guy” that always seems to have a need of some type? (Guilty)

How about the sick? (Guilty)

How about the widows and orphans? (Guilty) (My inclusion of widows and orphans may seem out of the blue, but re-read your bible, both parts, and see how often God talks about taking care of them. You’ll be surprised.)

My inclusion of widows and orphans may seem out of the blue, but re-read your bible, both parts, and see how often God talks about taking care of them. You’ll be surprised.

James calls us to show the love of Jesus, and our very salvation, by our works. In chapter 2, I believe “works” is defined as taking care of our fellow believers. I’ll be the first to admit that I have done a lousy job. I’m so glad that God permits repentance and a chance to do things I’ve left undone. And I think, that too, is a part of what James is telling us. If we can’t right a wrong, why mention it? Just to make us feel bad? No, it is to give us a chance to correct an error.

Lastly, don’t fall into the trap of thinking that there must be a church ministry for <insert need here>, there doesn’t. Ministry is ALL of our responsibility.

Do you know of someone in the hospital? Go see them.

Do you know someone who is having.., say, car problems? You help them out.

Someone that can’t cover their bills? Step up, brother.

Someone one just going through a hard time? Be a shoulder to lean on. (In most cases, they don’t want advice, they want a compassionate ear, do you have one?)

If you are willing to be available, God will show you the need. And when you step up to help meet that need, the joy you receive will make you wonder why you hadn’t done it earlier.

Lets get busy!

Maranatha!

Yavoh!

I’m currently studying the book of Romans by copying the book by hand word for word. Today I am in chapter 14 and I’m dealing with the issues that Paul brings up here.

Beginning in vs 1, he begins to call out the different levels of faith believers’ have. He starts with pointing out that some eat meat, others are vegetarians. He then goes on to point out Holy days, which some observe and others do not.

Gentile Christians interpret Paul here to be referring to the commandments in the Torah. However, by looking at Acts 21, beginning in verse 14, we see that Paul was still a Torah observant throughout the rest of his life. This is noteworthy considering his conversion.

So, based on this fact, I have to conclude that Paul was not necessarily talking about Jews and Jewish practices, but more about converted Gentiles and their former pagan worship practices. We forget that Rome was a hotbed of pantheism, many different religions with all types of pagan practices.

All people got saved, they would leave these practices behind. Since people get saved at different times and mature at different “speeds”, there would (and can) be differences of opinion about what would be acceptable practices.

Paul deals with this by teaching that we should have grace with each other and not judge each other based on personal practices.